Earlier today, I found this picture I took of my first semester final review for AP Calculus. It is the prettiest homework I've done. In addition, it's probably incorrect.
Calculus is the most difficult academic challenge I've ever faced. It's the only class I take that actually diminishes my confidence as a student and makes me second-guess the intelligence everyone tells me I was born with.
Math has been a struggle for me since middle school. I moved to the advanced class halfway through sixth grade because Normal Math felt too easy for me. Immediately, the gaps in my mathematical knowledge base started becoming more apparent. As the years went on and I kept advancing, Algebra to Geometry to Algebra 2 to PreCalculus, my lack of fundamental skills set me farther and farther behind.
Today I play a constant game of catch-up with the rest of my Calculus class. They are unimaginably sure of themselves. That is one thing I'll never understand- how is it possible to actually be good at Math of any kind? I'm so lost that I don't even know what kind of questions to ask my teacher in order to receive help.
But for all of the stress and the struggle, I am in love with Calc. Everything flows so beautifully, from the derivative to the integral to the limit, it is all so certain.
It's the most beautiful language I've ever seen. I only wish I could be fluent.
You forced that move in 6th grade... against all advice but that of the principal. He was right. And you, you speak math more clearly and with more heart than most.
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