I didn't write in my journal yesterday.
I write in my journal every single day.
That should be an earth-shattering moment for me. Any other day, it would have been.
But I didn't write in my journal yesterday and it didn't seem so huge, either.
There was nothing that I knew how to say.
Yes, I should move on, but this is the first family death I've really cared about in years. I am grieving magnificently. Since Wednesday, I've exhibited all of the same outward signs of depression I experienced earlier last year. That dog, my baby, he's a huge loss for me. I'm going to have difficulty adjusting to life without his warmth, and the nightly sounds of him snoring contentedly under my bed.
I've moved his brother's dog bed into my room and his sister now sleeps in my bed. I am trying to compensate for the friend I've lost.
I don't know how to say all of the things I want to.
I write in my journal every single day.
That should be an earth-shattering moment for me. Any other day, it would have been.
But I didn't write in my journal yesterday and it didn't seem so huge, either.
There was nothing that I knew how to say.
Yes, I should move on, but this is the first family death I've really cared about in years. I am grieving magnificently. Since Wednesday, I've exhibited all of the same outward signs of depression I experienced earlier last year. That dog, my baby, he's a huge loss for me. I'm going to have difficulty adjusting to life without his warmth, and the nightly sounds of him snoring contentedly under my bed.
I've moved his brother's dog bed into my room and his sister now sleeps in my bed. I am trying to compensate for the friend I've lost.
I don't know how to say all of the things I want to.
Oh sweet heart. Grief is welcome; depression is not. Write it out. And snuggle Rags and sometimes your mom. Remember the love he brought and know that it is still present.
ReplyDeleteyes, write your heart. here or in your journal. you are wrapped in love. write about your loss and allow yourself feel the grief without fear, so it doesn't get stuck inside you. sending love to you.
ReplyDelete